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Pimping a play – By BEN

Tomorrow’s the day.  A play I started writing a year and a half ago will be staged read by the Hudson Warehouse theatre company. It wasn’t solicited by me, it was chosen as part of their series. I am honored as I have crossed an important distinction between someone who has a talented hard drive and someone who’s work is recognized by others. If anyone is in the New York area and would like to come I would be more than happy to have you.

More Mack Jack and Jill to come.

Same River Twice
The Underground Lounge (107th and Broadway)
3pm

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–Ben

 
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Posted by on May 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Shut the fuck up already! –by Jill

So I went on a date yesterday.  Cute guy.  And that part’s actually kinda significant because I don’t usually go on dates with cute guys. My rule is if you have courage to ask me out I’m probably going to say yes. I’m so glad I don’t have to go up and ask guys out.  Don’t get me wrong, if I’m at a bar guys’ll buy me drinks.  But dating is a different animal.  The guys who usually ask me out are guy on the subway (creepy) and when ever I walk into a comic book shop.

I meet  this guy at a coffee shop for our date. He shows up like 20 minutes late, but at least he texted me while I was waiting. It’s New York, trains suck. No big whoop. But when he sits down there’s this instant attraction.  It’s a combination of his looks and body language and something else. Perhaps it was the small table that made out knees bump together almost ever five minutes.  I’m thinking  jack pot.

But then the date gets going. We talk about television. That’s pretty much it. He’s a fan of comedies because when he watches TV he dosen’t like to think. (minus points) He’s an actor. But he only wants to do commercials (more minus points.) No Tom Stoppard plays? No Eugene O’Neill? When I mentioned my love of A Long Days Journey into Night…

 

…he responded, “Oh wait that’s the name of the theatre Book of Mormon is  playing at.” I think that was when I realized the date was going sour.

Now, I’ve never won any awards for brevity. Someone once even gave me the nick name “talky.” But this guy would not shut up. And his “words per minute” probably was on par with the Micro Machines guy. (Funny parody)  And he insisted on telling me about TV shows I had never seen like he was going to convince me to run out on the date and watch them.  Every time I tried to turn the conversation to something more substantive he veered it right back to television.

Part of me wants to give him another shot just because he was pretty damn hot. Maybe he was nervous? Maybe I think too much? Maybe he has a cavern of depth under this kiddy pool TV layer. It’s not like I have an army of men banging down my door for date.  And the dinner’ll be free.

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2011 in By Jill, Dating

 

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What douche bags: part 2 – by Jack

I’ve found my script, an old 10 minute play called Stick Up. It was the first thing I wrote when I quit marketing to do writing. The rules to the Naked Fairy Tales website insist it only be 10 pages, and Stick Up is closer to 14 pages, but I figured a way to format it. I called them just to be clear on specifics. The girl told me to come with two copies of my play to the reading. Watch the play readings, then submit mine at the end for next week. Sounds wonderful.

I read through my play and timed it and it was about 9 minutes long. I thought I’d be fine. Only thing was I don’t have a printer. No problem, just stop by a Staples or Kinkos (now FedEX office.)  Sure enough there was a Staples around the theatre. I wanted to conserve paper so I had two pages printed per sheet. You know, so it reads like a book. Like so…

I go the show and boy did the plays sucks. There was only one that I didn’t hate. The rest of them had no conflict, no stakes, and insufferable pauses. Granted it was reading so the actors didn’t know the scripts but the plays died none the less. I don’t know where this “under 10 minutes” thing went because they went through 5 or 6 in the whole two hours.

Finally, the plays all done. People dispersed to the bar and it once again became a social environment. I looked for the two emcees to whom I was to submit my script. I find one of them and he’s talking to someone, I wait patiently back. In conversation with the other guy, the emcee stops, mid-sentence and addresses me, “What?.”

Startled, I presented my script. “I brought this for next week. My name is Jack.”

“It is 10 pages?” he jumps to.

“Yea, less, it’s 8.”

“Why’d you format it like this. You see my gray hair? I can’t read this.”

“It was to save paper. I can email it to you.”

“Why do you have two copies? You just need one.”

“I called ahead, the girl told me to bring 2 copies.”

“Well you don’t need two copies. Just one.”

And then he turned by to the guy he was talking to and we were done. Fuck that place.

–Jack out!

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2011 in By Jack, Writing

 

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What douche bags: part 1. — by JACK

Mack came into my room at 4 in the morning.

“Buddy! There’s this thing you gotta go to.”

He was pretty drunk. Getting woken up happens a lot. Rarely does he bust into my room though. Usually he just makes toast and slams doors. But last night I had to know about this “thing.”

“I’m at Ellen’s birthday party. You know Bourbon Street bar or whatever. I go to borrow this chair from another table and the guy’s reading Hamlet. I’m like why are you reading Hamlet at a bar?”

I chimed in, “Mack? Does this have  a point? ”

“Yea, well he’s an actor and we got to talking. Turns out his theatre company does play readings every Monday. You should send something.  It’s called ‘slutty pixie fairies’ or something. Google it. You want some toast?”

“I’m good,” I replied.

Now that couldn’t sleep I decided to look it up. Slutty pixie fairies yielded some wikis, a funny youtube video, and a bizarre fetish site. But nothing to help me get any of my plays read. Finally I found what most likely was what he was talking about; a theatre company called Naked Fairy Tales. They do, in fact “promote new and emerging playwrights” with readings every Monday night. I looked over a few of my plays, but I knew what I was going to submit. I watched a Futurama episode and tried to go back to bed. Zoidberg rules.

—Jack out!

 
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Posted by on October 5, 2011 in By Jack, Writing

 

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